Wow, I'm blogging!

I never thought I'd see the day....it's funny how things turn out way differently than you ever expected. Although different does not necessarily mean bad either. It's a beautiful snow-covered night and the lights are shining reminding me of being a little kid. My Justin is having dinner with his wonderful father and I am alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I wish I could deplete all of the memories in my head and start over. But then, I would forget all of the wonderful blessings too.

I made a new friend who seems to have been sent to me from the angels. He's going to whip me into shape but also serves another purpose. Logan, are you my new lifeline? :) I'm sure I'll need to call you during the middle of my life (how much do you charge for that?). Thank you for your encourgement and for this great idea - I feel better already. You better blog me back so I do not feel like I'm talking to myself.

I have to decide how best to use this online masterpiece. I don't want it to be a diary cuz I would bore myself. I also don't want to have someone go back and read it and think I was crying out. How do you look forward when the past will not go away. How do you tell people how you feel without appearing weak? How do you cut off ties without appearing heartless? How do you go to sleep without hearing the same song over and over again?

This is my favorite time of the year and I feel like I am wasting it by feeling hurt and angry and confused. Every minute I will try and heal just a little bit more - next Christmas will be fantastic. I need to figure out a way to make this Christmas worthwhile.

Logan is going to make me stop drinking cherry slurpees........the sadness returns!! :)